Circle of Trust

As I  reflect back on this weekend and my first GTE experience there are many lessons learned from this weekend but none more important then the one I learned at the welcome party. I broke a rule that we had talked about numerous times during our training and it almost cost me completion of the event. I added a energy gel shortly after consuming a pre workout drink which was something I never did in training. I was so scared to fail the pt test that I decided to try and amp myself up to help me pass the army pt test and it almost cost me the completion of the event. During the welcome party while we were getting smoked I could not keep up at the 3rd station. Cadre Uncle Rico had us doing  Turkish get ups with our 50ish pound ruck sacks on the front of our body. After a few rounds of them I  hit the ground and essentially blacked out for a moment and couldn’t get up.  My mind said one thing while my body was frozen and couldn’t move. Luckily I  heard Bedpan near me and he was able to call a cadre and the support team to help me but I  was not in a good place at this time. I had thoughts of failure and shame of being sent home racing through my head. All because I did not trust myself to perform on the pt test for which I  had already passed successfully in training. At this moment I  tried my best to compose myself, rehydrate and get some food in me in hopes of being able to continue with the event. Burnt Ends and Woody filled my water bladder that leaked during the welcome party and Frozone from St Louis told me that I could complete the event but to take some time to refocus and prepare for what was ahead of me. Two years ago I  would have given up and quit but F3 has prepared me to do hard shit and nothing was harder then what I  did this last weekend. When I was cleared to return by the Cadre he told me to get my ass in line and make sure I keep up. Those of you that were there know I did not let that second chance pass me by. I carried every sandbag I was asked to carry, hell I volunteered to as well. I was on log team 3 lead by Squidward and we were a well oiled machine down the trail. I felt strong from that point on and did everything in my power to help the other 29  men of the blue platoon finish the event. I am sore as hell still today but would not trade this experience for the world. I was faced with adversity and a curve ball I was not prepared for. For a moment I  could have quit but you men have taught me that we find a way to complete the mission. I  have faced a difficult challenge before but this one was a greater challenge. High stress and low visibility while sleep deprived is one hell of a mind fuck but in the end I finished. I know I  helped other men in my platoon just as they helped me and all 30 men of the blue platoon finished the event together. I encourage all you to participate in a grow ruck event if your schedule allows. The lessons learned and the bonds with other men are something words cannot describe. My biggest lesson learned and one worth sharing again is to trust your training and trust the men that have done this before. Stick to the plan and believe in yourself. Aye!