I was recently reading through my copy of the Q-Source and was reading through the chapter about the Shield Lock. For me, it was honestly a harder chapter to read because as I read it I realized how having a shield lock is something that is missing in my life. Within the concentrica, that ring seems to be more of a black hole. As I was writing this I really was nervous because I don’t want to sound like I am complaining about not having many close friends. But truth be told, I’ve felt this way for many years and it’s a feeling that is getting really old. If you read the book Freed to Lead you’ll know that is one of the main reasons that F3 was developed; to help cure the one big problem that many “middle-aged men” have…loneliness. Through trying to create a strong marriage, be a good dad, and develop the career that I’ve seen in my mind since I was in first grade, I have found myself seriously lacking one very important element, the shield lock.

Now I will admit that this problem is a two-way street. Two elements that make developing a strong shield lock are proximity and consistency. I struggle with both of those a lot by the nature of my job. It’s hard to be consistent when my work schedule is inconsistent. And it’s hard to be proximate when the nature of my work is anything but. I know, it’s an excuse. However, this year I will be turning 40, and I know that if I don’t make more intentional efforts to create deeper relationships with other men beyond the surface bullshit that most people never go beyond, then I am seriously missing a richness in life that will never be satisfied anywhere else. It’s one thing to get together and drink some beers with guys every now and then. That’s always fun. But at the end of the day that doesn’t always satisfy that missing piece in your soul. At this point, I really don’t know where I am going with this, but I’ll say one more thing. Going through the peaks and valleys of life carrying the weight of my world and my life is getting a bit tiring without having a solid group of others guys to help even out that load.

This COT isn’t very uplifting or motivating. I am not leaving you with any cute words of advice to ponder for 5 minutes after we all depart. This is more of me pouring out what’s on my heart today, not for sympathy, but to try to be vulnerable on a level that can be understood by a solid group of me that are standing around me this morning. Thanks for having a listening ear.