Circle of Trust

3 years has been a journey for me.  I wanted to talk about the 4 quadrants of preparedness along with both my 3 year Manniversary and my 1 year anniversary.  Get Right, Live Right, and Lead Right are usually in my mind in leading groups because they all affect Legacy.   Lead Right….  My 3 year Manniversary happened yesterday and I told no one.  It’s not cause I don’t care, it is because I do.  I made a decision to willfully stay down south and close to my home, it’s not because I don’t care it’s because I do.  A week and half ago Doghouse was on the Q sheet for the 23rd.  I was getting ready to message him when he decided to release it.  Friday at the River is the best time we have as a region.  Dog started feeling bad as if he was taking all the fun for himself so he released the date I wanted.  Yellow Card and others started pushing for a VQ and Miata and West Side Stories’ name came up.  I knew instantly I was going to stay quiet.  I knew their first lead was far more important to me than celebrating a milestone.  Leadership is Selfless.  As things developed I was so happy I stayed quiet.  Yellow Card worked with Miata to develop a plan of disruption where he began a WoR and Miata came into the circle to finish it and then boss us around to all four corners.  It was awesome. (I found Miata in our circle and thanked him and said I was proud)  

I said I made a decision to stay down south because I care.  I have one fictitious title under my name in ChaMinWood and have had one under my name in both regions and now it only exists in F3Ps Slack.  The title is the word Galvanize.  Galvanize is usually concerned with an electric current that force’s energy to move.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to move Men away from Plainfield.  I do, however, want to move Men towards us. I have friends up north and know that I’ll be spending time here.  I like thinking the galvanizing efforts would excite friends enough to come visit until I’m confident that the tent will stand on its own.   Blue Gill helped me understand that a Leader, a Nant’an, is someone that stands at the center of a tent and holds down the poles making sure it doesn’t get pulled too hard in one direction or another.  Puddles helped me understand that we don’t need more flags but to plant them deeper.  There are leadership teams in both regions that probably don’t need to plant more flags but need to  bury them deeper.  The tents and houses of F3 ChaMinWood and Plainfield must bury their tent poles so that they remain standing not for a year but for our kids, for generations to come. 

Before we can lead at all or lead right, to be prepared, we have to live right.  I try to lead at home in similar ways as I do ITG.  I work with my Daughter on just as many things as my son.  I work with my son on a lot of things other than just running but, running seems to be the most obvious connection between the gloom and home life.  I want both of my kids to be strong mentally and physically.  To me running is the ultimate test of both.  Everyone gets tired when they run and the act becomes a mental game pretty quickly.  I coach my son a lot in Cross Country and work with my kids a lot on getting outside and coming up with their own creative play instead of plugging in devices and being lethargic.  My son had his first home cross country meet and finished second behind someone that is taller and older.  I am pretty sure the kids’ height and age got to Jax, my son, more than the other kids’ speed.  Regardless, the winner pushed my boy.  I was expecting Jax to break a 6 minute mile by the 6th grade.  Jaxson dropped 16 seconds off his PR.  I was so proud to watch my 10 year old run a 5:54 and almost win a meet where he was already running up a grade.  

You cannot lead right if you aren’t living right and living by example or you have not initially “gotten” right.  I realized I wasn’t prepared to lead myself, my family, or others at least in terms of what I could potentially do about a year ago.  That is the 1 year anniversary that I alluded to in the PreBlast.  I am celebrating one year of sobriety and it is a bigger deal to me than my 3 year Manniversary.  I run with my son to lead by example, to teach it is valuable to work hard and to chase someone or something down, and it is possible to persevere when you are tired.  For this reason, my son waited up to talk to me about my race that I entered a year ago, the Will County Brew Run.  

I ran a pretty fast 5K.  I was the second overall finisher and had plenty of reason to celebrate.  I struggle to run fast with lots of food in my gut.  I drank my complementary craft beer, drank my extra brew ticket I bought, Yellow Card wasn’t drinking and gave me both of his beer tickets, someone gave me a beer, the brewmaster Jamie/F3 Buckeye (I’ll get him back out) was proud of my efforts and gave me a beer and I threw them all down without much food in my system.  Instead of going home I went back to a friend’s house and drank bourbon.  I remember them eating Nachos and I decided to drink more bourbon.  A friend drove my car home for me and the next day I learned that I was slurring and swerving while talking to my son.  I felt awful and decided I don’t want him to remember me in that way.  That was the last time I would be like that.  I don’t mind drinking or hold any animosity towards people that do. I just recognized that it was becoming far too easy to give up control.  I am celebrating 3 years with F3 and 1 year of sobriety.  

Leave Right is the last quadrant of preparedness.  We all too often think about this as something that happens towards the end of your life or that it is at the end or worse yet, created by someone else.  What will my son and daughter say about me after I am gone?  How will others remember me?  “Leave Right” is about legacy and I encourage you to think about it daily.  We create our stories and our legacy now.  What will your legacy be?  How can you use your talents and honor your gifts to help others?  If you don’t like what someone is saying, it is your responsibility to change your actions and their statements. What do you want to be remembered for and what are you doing to create that today?  This is our time.  Today starts your legacy.  We don’t need more men, more men need us!  We are not done yet, we are only just beginning.