Circle of Trust

I recently received an interesting message on Facebook messenger from someone I haven’t seen or talked to in a while. This message hit me a little bit by surprise, but it was also refreshing.

The reason it was refreshing is because I personally feel like there’s not enough ‘Real Talk’ going on these days. Your typical conversations will consist of basic responses like “every thing is fine”, “all is good” ect… No substance, no depth, especially among men.

It sometimes feels like we are programmed, conditioned, and expected to show no emotions, or vulnerabilities, because it may be perceived as weakness (I disagree, to a reasonable extent of course). Us men carry some heavy shit on our shoulders.. We do the hard shit, and many times throughout our life, it goes unappreciated by the ones we care about the most. It’s almost as if we are expected to wear a bulletproof, emotional cloak or something.. If that even makes sense.

This is what he wrote me: ” Are you as happy as the photos you post online”?

At first I was like wtf.., but I immediately appreciated the fresh air of a real question.

I didn’t know why he asked me this. Maybe he was going through some difficulty in his life, a challenge, and he thought that he’s the only one that’s going through it. All while looking at my photos of my vacations, experiences, or smiles throughout all the photos, thinking that this guys has it all figured out.. ‘Look at how happy he is’.

Little does he know that behind those snap shots of a fun memory, or moment in time, or that – “SMILE for the picture babe”, isn’t just all rainbows and butterfly’s. Behind those smiles there’s pain from dealing with my Dads stage 4, there’s pain with my moms health conditions, and the thoughts that come with it. Or the struggles I have with my Marriage, and the challenges of a new career path into the unknowns.

My message to everyone is simple. Don’t think that for one second if you’re dealing with anything difficult and challenging, that you’re the only one.. I assure you that if you have more ‘real talk’ with people, you will quickly realize that we’re all going through something, or have gone through something, or will go through something. It’s life, its inevitable, and a challenging hand will be dealt at some point. What you do with that hand is a different story, and I wish I had the perfect answer… but I’m currently trying to figure that out myself. What I do know, is that I will figure it out at the end, I just don’t know what that looks like.

So if you’re lucky enough to have someone close to you, or even a pax member that you can be vulnerable with, then take advantage of it and release some of that shit, or it can eat you alive.

So Point #1 – Never compare yourself to anyone, or anyone’s “success” what ever success means to you personally, or any image of someone, literally and metaphorically. You just don’t know the whole story, unless you actually do. Which brings me to my 2nd point.

Be a man, but don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. We’re all human, so have some real talk sometimes.

(Everyone’s reaction to, he messaged me “Are you as happy as the photos you post” was freaking hilarious! 😀 )

For prayer like I’ve mentioned before, that sometimes I take a moment of silence, or reflect because I’m not very religious. But Today I said a prayer in Ukrainian during COT with intentions about the accident that happened with HankHills mother, peoples lives tragically affected from the California fires, people in general that need help, and my family of course.